


Six Times

by TheTrueDJ



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTrueDJ/pseuds/TheTrueDJ
Summary: A different perspective on what happened, but one that is also very familiar.





	Six Times

My best friend hung herself six times.

At least I think it was six. It changes.

Sometimes only once. Sometimes three. Not usually more than eight. But each time I had to see it. I had to walk into her room and see her blank, grey eyes staring at me two feet from the ceiling, her mouth slightly open.

Dead.

It was my seeing it that made it real. If I didn’t walk into that room, it didn’t happen. If I stopped right before the door, called out “Sayori?” but didn’t enter, it didn’t happen.

But after the first time, I knew it did anyway.

Or did you think I didn’t know anything? That I didn’t see anything? Did you think Monika was right? That you and her were the only real people in the game?

Both of you were wrong.

I was real. I _am_ real.

Did you think I was just a mouthpiece, ready to express your thoughts? A body with which to hug and kiss the girl you wanted most? A personality that you could slap a name on and manipulate through your mouse clicks?

You didn’t care about me. You only cared what I did for you.

At least the girls started with some cohesive sense of self. They were the ones you had to be careful with, gentle, lest you break them.

But me? I was a dead fish in your hands, being turned this way and that way to see what would happen.

And then when Monika fucked with my world and killed my best friend, I had to suffer through what came next. For you. Because you wanted me to.

Oh, _you_ were scared? You were scared when Sayori vanished, replaced by meaningless nothing? You were scared when Yuri stared with insane eyes? When Natsuki’s _neck snapped_? When Yuri stabbed herself three times, laughing as she did? You, at least, could look away from the screen. You clicked “Skip” while she bled out onto the classroom floor and the colour left her eyes. I was there for _two days_ before Monika took everything away, ripped me out of the world and looked into my eyes forever.

And when you’d deleted her and Sayori turned into a monster, you started all over again, trying to get it right. How many times was it? How many times did you put me through that living death?

Maybe you got your happy ending. Maybe you looked it up online. Maybe you gave up.

Regardless of how it ended:

You had to see it.

I had to live it.

And next time you, or anyone else, opens up the game, I’ll have to live it again.


End file.
